I’ve been going through my head the last three months, trying to find the right advice and the best article topic to share with you all. I’ve realized that the reason I haven’t been putting out content is because I feel as though at this point in my life, I have no advice I can give that I myself can prove induces positive change. It’s been hard to catch my breath long enough to look around me and find solutions.
The last we talked I was entering my winter quarter of school. I had had a rough transition to college and reflected in an article on how I intended to change my eating habits so that I would be properly nourishing my body. I entered winter quarter and cooked almost every one of my meals for about three weeks. I ate a variation of the the same exact meal for probably 95% of total meals, but I was determined to get food in my body regardless of favorability.
Starting at week four, I began to get increasingly more and more sick. Starting at this point, for about about two months after, I had a fever ranging from 102-105 every other day. I ate very little, and when I did I was never satisfied. My stomach hurt every single day, as the list of foods I could no longer tolerate grew substantially.
To this day, I can now no longer digest gluten, dairy, meat, eggs, corn, soy, potato, tomato, carrot, celery, multiple different oils, and any dyes, among other things.
After multiple ER visits and too much school missed, I decided it would be best to take a partial medical leave of absence from Cal Poly so I could get more testing done at UCLA and fully heal at home. All of my tests came back negative, and while blessed with these results, I am again left with no answers like how I was when all of these intolerances developed four years ago.
I believe that my physical sickness was a byproduct of the war going on inside my stomach. The minute I went home and was eating fresh steamed vegetables and clean foods, my stomach pain subsided and my cold-like virus went away. When my stomach is healthy, I feel healthy.
My issue is that I cannot stay at home forever. I just got back to school for spring quarter, and I am terrified. I have never been so sick in my life than I was during winter quarter, and there is no way of knowing if that will happen again. I still can’t eat just as much and cooking food is still just as difficult due to being in a dorm.
Now that I am healthier, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting. I have been thinking about this blog, one that I started when I was in a hopeless place four years ago. Four years ago I found comfort in writing and giving advice because it made me feel less out of control and alone. It gave me power over how I viewed myself and my intolerances. It allowed me to view myself as a strong woman who was confident and determined despite challenges being thrown her way. I used those challenges for good, using them as doors to help people.
In present day, I’ve been having a hard time thinking of these challenges as doors, and instead have been viewing them as nuisances. Because of this, I have been having trouble finding the right advice to give to anyone in a situation similar to mine. I have been having trouble giving myself advice. I’ve cemented my doors shut and again feel out of control and alone. I know what I need to do, but I don’t know the steps I need to take to be successful as someone with food allergies living in a dorm.
This brings me back to why I started this blog initially. There was no outlet that I could turn to in a time of desperation such as this. So I decided to start my own. I have decided to do the same thing now. No, I am not going to start a new blog, (involuntaryvegan is too good of a name to think of another one), but I am going to commit myself to rediscovering this one.
My hope is that if anyone out there is experiencing something similar to me, you realize that you are not alone. Although I can’t yet give step by step instructions on how to be fully healthy in college with allergies, I hope that you can learn something from hearing my story. Life is life, and life is not always easy or fair. It helps to know that you aren’t going through it alone.
Please know that you are never alone.
If you have any questions or stories similar to mine, please leave a comment or send me an email. I would love to hear anything you guys want to share and answer any questions:)
My name is Gabriella. Join me on my health and wellness journey as I discover foods that not only please my taste buds but my stomach as well!